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3 ways to use emotional intelligence to communicate with impact leadership coach anne koopmann

3 Ways to Use Emotional Intelligence to Communicate with Impact

Are you ready to communicate with impact? Let’s explore how you can use emotional intelligence to do so.

Effective Communication

Daniel Goleman defines impactful communication as an effective give and take. It is an exchange between two or more people who are equally able to contribute to the conversation. It’s the ability to clearly state what we want, to communicate our needs and our motivations and our opinions.

But also the ability to listen properly and use empathy to understand what the other person has to say. Effective communication is also about coming to a compromise where both parties feel accepted and part of the discussion and the resolution.

To communicate effectively, we have to stay objective and be open to taking information in.

In this article, I want to explore how emotional intelligence can support us to communicate with more impact?

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Let’s talk about the definition of emotional intelligence first. Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize our own emotions and the emotions of others, as well as the capacity to manage these emotions so that they don’t have an impact on our behaviours. Furthermore, Emotional intelligence enables us to manage relationships effectively and motivate ourselves and others.


One important competency of emotional intelligence is self-control. And this is important because it lets us manage and control our emotions before, during and after a conversation. If we lack this competency, then we might not be able to enter any discussions in a neutral state. You might enter the conversation preoccupied with your mood or worries and the other person might not get the feeling that you’re truly present and ready to listen to them.

Furthermore, emotional intelligence allows you to keep your cool in the moment.

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Let’s say you’re in the middle of a conversation and hear something that you didn’t expect. If you lack self-control, then that might kick you out of balance. And you might react in a way that is not as professional or might ruin the relationship.

If you have self-control, you can stay calm and react in a very reflective matter. You can look at the information that you just received and then start to think about the best response rationally. You can manage and purposefully change the way you respond to make sure that the conversation doesn’t get out of hand or conflict arises.

Another way that self-control can help you is to level your nerves. If we are nervous, when we go into a conversation, a presentation or a big speech, we might end up talking really fast or mumbling our way through. But if we can manage our emotions, by taking a deep breath and be relaxed, we can communicate clearly and effectively.


Another really important competency of emotional intelligence is empathy. With empathy, you can truly listen and be curious to hear what the other person has to say and refrain from judgment. This is important because if we try to listen and judge the person at the same time, we’re not objectively open to comprehend what they have to say fully.

Empathy allows us to keep a curious mind and stop ourselves from judging the other person too quickly. Empathy allows us to truly tune in to understand others’ motivators and their drivers. Try to gauge their emotional state.

Empathy also enables you to adapt your language and body language to the person that you’re talking to, which helps to build a rapid connection. If you’re managing a bigger team or if you’re entering a big meeting room empathy, let’s you read the room within a few seconds. You can quickly adapt your approach and your communication strategy to address the needs of your audience.

Social and relationship skills

The third competency of emotional intelligence that supports effective communication is your social and relationship skills. It allows you to build a strong connection to the people you speak to.

Whoever you speak to should leave the conversation feeling like they were the most important person in the world to you right then, at that moment. Invest in the relationship. Remember, it’s a give and take and will allow you to inspire and share your vision successfully.

Final thoughts

To summarize, Emotional intelligence (EI) allows you to say what you want to say, to speak clearly, and to make sure that your voice is heard. You become more assertive without being pushy or aggressive.

Use EI  to tune in to the other person, use your empathy, manage your emotions, and build relationships. All of this will enable you to bring your point across, convince other people of your idea and stay confident while building trust, strong relationships and inspire others for your ideas.

I have recently published a podcast episode on this topic. Listen now

Or watch it on YouTube.

Ep002: 3 ways to use Emotional Intelligence to communicate with Impact

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